I miss myself. I miss how my instinct told me to do something unusual. How I let my thoughts lead me into activities and crazy things I've never done before. See, hear, experience. Finding great facts like how the asteroid with size as big as 50 football field will crash the earth today. Okay, I made it up for the last one, so let's just skip this part (but that thing could possibly happens, right?). In spaces between keyboard I'm using to type right now, I miss how my instinct and logic held a battle inside my mind just to decide where should I set my feet upon crossroads. It's a fun part, and It's been forever I never felt that way.
To feel so alive
Is it a faded passion?
Nah, I'm cool with this. I don't need to ignite it because I still hold on to things I believe. No probs.
Is it a heartbreak disease?
Dude, get a life. This is 2014, life is to short to deal with this crap.
Is it a mouse wheel trap?
Umm, perhaps.
Perhaps the monotony I've been through these past few months finally knocks my consciousness door and told me to think. To take a deep breath and take a walk.
"Most people assume that meditation is all about stopping thoughts. But actually, it's much different than that. It's more about stepping back, seeing the thought clearly without judgment."
I realized all these times I let myself drowned in the rush and lights of "The Big City that Never Sleeps". The contentment that I got slowly piled up and create difficulties to recognize the line I need to cross. Is it a start line? Finish line? Or it's just an intermission? Because when you don't have idea where to hang on, you feel like wandering in the dark searching for the switch, but you found out a fact that the light bulb is shattered.
I got one way ticket now. I guess all I can do is step off my comfort path, so at the end I know what it's like to face the unknown.
So, what are things lying at the bottom of the valley of our fears?
We found our strength.
